


Loss

by Poptartsss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, human!Cas, random short with no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1999638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poptartsss/pseuds/Poptartsss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the blackness of night, there was a scream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loss

In the blackness of night, there was a scream. Low and gruff, it sailed through the skies in vain as no one was around to bring it validity. It was a hollow release of devastation, one that would be the point in time where Castiel's mortal life was turned around. In one moment, he was a frantic and desperate man. The next, his purpose had faded away, along with the only one he had ever invested himself in; the only creature on this infested planet that he found superfluous comforts in. And now he was gone. Dead. Of course, he had been at Death’s door before, but never like this. Never had he been so bruised, so battered and bloody-- and that is saying a lot in Dean’s kind of work. He was now a hollow shell that once housed a beautiful soul. The one that was made of stardust and sunlight, loyal and loving, filled with stubbornness and isolation. Castiel was too late.

The pain swept over him like a tidal wave, a new kind of pain that made him feel like his mind was caving in and his reality was crashing around him. It didn't feel real. Everything was hazy and the dusk made it so the only thing in his vision was the one thing he never wanted to see; a bleeding and broken, very dead, Dean Winchester.

Castiel stood over the body letting out a single, audible sob. The rest was relatively silent; his shoulders trembling violently, his breath hitching deep within his throat. It felt like he had been running for weeks on end, the way his breath would not come to him. He hesitated to drop to the ground with Dean. He was afraid to touch him, to feel the warm blood drying on cold skin, or worse yet-- to feel the death on him. One touch, and Castiel would be forced to accept that this wasn't a mirage or some disgusting trick. But he inevitably gave in, he needed to hold him close. He needed to try and stop the bleeding, although he didn't know where to start. There were multiple wounds around the neck, little slashes and slits, along with a number of stab wounds to the chest. Three things kept appearing in Castiel's head: “no”, “my fault”, and “so much blood”.

His legs crumbled underneath him a few feet in front of his lover, and his lungs pushed out a heavy breath in the form of a whimper. He couldn't fathom this.

_Not real, not real not real…_ his mind screamed in his desperation, he crawled in the dirt to Dean, _Not real. Just a trick, it’s a trick…!_

Castiel let his fingers hover over Dean’s gray cheeks. He was still afraid to touch him, hesitance and denial ripping through him. He kept hunched over him for a moment, his face a foot away from that of Dean.

“Dea…” another sob, “Dean…?”

It was fruitless. He already knew that, deep inside. He knew the second he glanced at this body that Dean was gone. As an angel, he would have kept his feelings aside and focused on how to get him back. As a human, Castiel was overwhelmed. He was feeling things for the first time, the way his lungs refused to work, the lump in his throat that was blocking him from screaming again, the trembling-- all of it was completely new.

“Dean.” he tried, tears gently cascading from his left eye, “Please…”

Castiel finally allowed his phantom hands to caress the hollows of Dean’s cheeks. Little drops fell onto his bloody face like the beginning of a rainstorm. Each one slid down those beautiful curves, leaving a trail of crimson behind from where it washed away the impurities. Only this was not rain, it was the

lament of a broken man. One that had seen a world with centuries of sobbing, loss, and devastation but could never before feel the full effects of such things.

“No...!!”


End file.
